I’m Numb to Police on Black Violence

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(before we start please excuse what grammatical errors I may have missed I suffer from dyslexia)

As a black man I am ashamed to say that, I heard the news about Alton Sterling this morning just as most of us did, I didn’t really have a reaction hell it wasn’t until later in the day I actually saw the video. I feel ashamed because I shouldnt be numb to it, I should want to talk about it. Part of me not reacting is maybe I’m tired seeing it, aren’t you? Is it not sad?.. Disappointing?

There is no Police lives matter movement and you know why?  Because there doesn’t need to be, there is no all lives matter movement, because you all don’t truly feel that way, if all live matter than solders of the islamic state, theyre lives matter too. I have said this before and I do again with all due respect police do not fight a war not here in America, police clock in and out like you and me there needs to be some type of anger management daily for police everywhere, and as an officer if you’re not in the mood or right frame of mind then please don’t go to work, but you must stop taking it out on us.

Black Lives matter refers to the unarmed men and women dying at the hands of police. Need I remind you they captured Dylan Roof ( S.C. church shooter), they captured James Holmes (C.O. movie theater shooter) mass murderers captured alive but unarmed Eric Garner was killed, Freddie Gray killed, Alton brown clearly pinned on the ground by two officers killed. Fuck you and Ray Lewis and all other idiots that say black lives need to matter to black people, we aren’t the only people with issues, lives also need to matter to the drug dealer at your children’s school that provides your children with social drugs they overdose on, do not need, and clearly do not understand, to the white supremacy hate groups that even hate white people of a certain religion (so you can be white but can not have another religion) Ray Lewis needs to make a video to his collegaes about domestic violence and arent you alleged to have stabbed some one? This movement is for unarmed black people in police custody dying (not actively shooting or returning fire from police). As of today there are questions about wether or not Alton had a gun, that is fine it will come out either way but in the video it sure wasn’t pointed at anyone it sure wasn’t in his hand in the video he is on the ground two police on top of him when he is shot looks like the second cop was startled unaware and had to move out of the way, that is an execution there is no return of fire or control of the situation on Alton’s side as it seems at the time he was shot. The officer described Michael Brown (Ferguson MO. unarmed  victim as a “gorilla” I believe I heard, I also heard as a child holding onto Hulk Hogan) this is a police officer 6’4 210 lbs and in his vehicle vs an 18yr old man 6’4 292 and most importantly unarmed.

Listen I’m not asking you to care, I almost had no reaction but if you don’t agree there is a problem then I am telling you to shut the fuck up, stay in your world that is fine, just don’t post for help when something happens to someone in your family, I don’t want to hear about your issues so call whom you need to notifiy directly because that like these past situatuions have nothing directly to do with me the differnce though is I see the problem.

lastly let me say… I had no reaction because I am sick of it, I didn’t want to talk about it because it should not occur so often, hell so often in just a year. I was numb to it because I am scared and not noticing it means I can pretend it doesn’t happen. Unfortunately I am constantly reminded that for my skin tone that just isn’t true. So please if for some reason you don’t see it, or just don’t get it, ask someone who does before you speak and if you don’t care at all then stay the fuck out of the discussion. There damn sure deserves to be a movement, and if these men and women dying in police custody weren’t black, if they were your brother, sister, father etc. Turn on Cops, TMZ, or go to YouTube and see people of all colors resisting arrest, some even armed so why are we dying. -Vonte

 

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I Can’t Tell You Which Lie Hurts Worst

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(before we start please excuse what grammatical errors I may have missed I suffer from dyslexia)

 

I’ve tried to stay away from the blog but crazy shit just keeps happening. So this time I need you to tell me why my vote actually matters, and I need you to make your point so that I can understand it. I’m going to talk about a couple of topics,  just bear with me here.

Before I go into my vote let me say this about the third and believed to be the most possible suspect in the Freddie Gray Murder/ sorry death in custody case. When you drop you child off at the bus stop they are at the care of the school district, god forbid let there be an accident. Now Freddie Gray was no child and this was no school, but this man was in police custody, in a police van and so far 3 of the six involved will not face charges.

Okay let me talk about my vote because you tell me it matters, I hear it so often,  as I understand it votes are first rated by what neighborhood, district, city then state you reside.  for instance I lived in the City of Chicago went to a downtown voting station because it was convenient, I worked downtown at this is still in the city of Chicago. Nope couldn’t vote there not my district. I go elsewhere do my diligence and the results come out, not enough people from the district that could evoke a change, do  ( because they anticipate your areas majority vote, unless there is a huge change your state votes the way it always did  and only gets a certain amount of delegates). So say a person like Trump becomes the nominee. Okay this I can get over, maybe more people just turned out to vote, then you hear about Super delegates, (sounds straight out of a comic book) lets say someone had those locked in before the campaign even began, so fight as you may other candidates this person pretty much won. Wait finally tell me why one of the leading candidates at the time, leading in all poles for that side came out and said out of their own mouth “the system is corrupt” you are in the lead sir what problems might there be?

 

Aright so screw all of that right? Lets talk gun control, the house democrats hosted a sit in (let me hold back my excitement for them making a difference) this sit-in was just to get a vote not guaranteeing either side of the argument just a conversation about, at best and the rest of the house walked out and started vacation. There may never be a change to our gun laws because of our 2nd amendment rights and what people believe, but why are citizens allowed to be more heavily armed than the average beat cop who is supposed to protect our streets? What was the old folks sit-in supposed to accomplish? These fools even turned off the cameras, sounds like game over to me.

So let me get this straight unless I and many others like me move to a state where there aren’t enough of me my vote doesn’t really matter for the presidential races, then you tell me change who represents my state “they are what matters” well those people can’t even get all their other co workers to come in to work for a vote, and until they are caught red-handed who keeps them honest these folks get contributions and gifts (add that and their earnings are similar to that of athlete salaries) all while in office, who’s to say it’s not for a favor later on? And where the hell do I vote for the super delegates?. Lastly when the hell did church and state become the same? and who’s church are we following?  So I ask you to explain to me in a way I can understand (because I am dyslexic) how my vote matters? Mind you I have to break everything down to store it in my head, it has to make sense for me and right now I don’t even understand how it makes sense to you.

So which lie is worst that my vote matters? or that there is equal justice? -Vonte

 

 

 

 

A Rant to the Fat Jewish

  

Wow really? Cause I’m confused fat Jewish, what did she do wrong? I’m tired of the whole controversy over the performance. I bet none of you knew what it was until the media told you, and those that are proud of what she did are proud because she choose to say something. Rich people don’t have to give 2 fucks about what goes on with us, and so what? The black power fist was about unity and self determination when drugs were introduced to our committees and our people were selling there souls there was no anti-police movement, all who feel it was, feel guilty about what the police did to people of color back then Rudy Giuliani.! And for the rest of the trolls what differs the black power fist from the confederate flag is the flag was a symbol of an oppressed people and a lost war no one still flies the USSR flag in the Soviet Union. Lastly mr Fat Jewsih I wonder had this been about the holocaust would it have bothered you the same? -Vonte.
 

Last Week Today

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(before we start please excuse what grammatical errors I may have missed I suffer from dyslexia)

I feel this needs to be said to all, it’s not about Patti Labelle, It’s not about Paris vs. Kenya, Syria and the other places that faced down terror, I send love to any country that has been terrorized by ISIS I did not change my profile picture but I do not fault anyone whom does, what does confuse me is in a past administration we did have some beef with Paris for not joining us in Bush’s’ war. I did not join in but I know you all recall the “freedom fries” thing (totally stupid by the way) and it wasn’t just fries our nation stopped selling French apple pies and anything else they could. I stand with Paris because I stand with the people not the queen, her government their choices, and I do the same for the innocent in Kenya, Syria, Libya like we all should. NY, Paris stood with us many times They are the reason we have a Statue of Liberty they stood with us when the towers came down and when injustice happens. I’m not sure but I will assume our news doesn’t really reach Syria, Kenya etc.  but I would hope if it does they stand with us also. Care because your human and mass murder of innocent human beings is wrong, not for some social agenda.

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And for the Patti Pie Fans that are upset that people don’t care about your pies. It has nothing to do with Patti Labelle it has to do with the energy your spending promoting this product only sold at a place that doesn’t support women in roles of power or did we forget? I know people who went from location to location searching for a Patti pie, sounds great but at the end of the day that’s a win for Walmart so what’s your cause here? I hope she does well, hope she opens some restaurants but calm down people it’s a pie. -Vonte

I Believe I Found The Words.

  
You ever wake up with a song in your heart? now imagine forgetting all the words, the beat is there but the words don’t come, that’s what its like living with dyslexia. I had a conversation with a good friend about achieving dreams, she told me to make a vision board view it then work to make it happen, and that makes sense but really what holds me back is I am scared, scared as hell I’m going to fail. I know failure is part of life,. Right? you fail or fall and get back up, well I have fallen a couple of times and I rise but never the same when I do. I don’t know what you think dyslexia is, the truth is, it is different for everyone that lives with it. What I can tell you it is not just that numbers jumble, I read things and sometimes see words that aren’t there skip sentences or at first glance read it so fast I don’t understand fully what I read, and yet still took it in. Imagine applying that to signing a contract, I can know exactly what I am supposed to do rehearse it even and when it is time to go forget every detail, apply that to a relationship, friendship. And as I said it’s not just numbers or not just as simple as that. I am an adult and the biggest fear in my adult life is managing my checkbook, understanding fees, how and when transactions are detracted from your account, now imagine I started a business (one of the many great ideas I have) and one wrong purchase can end that. Dyslexia is my memory, my math, my speech, and at times my confidence, and nobody understands this like I do.
I put four shelves up on my wall, they were to be equal height mirrored on opposite sides of a window and for literally four hours I couldn’t wrap my mind around the equation it took to mirror the look, the sad part was I had help and my good friend told me how to do it a few times it just didn’t make sense to me, she explained it, she was right I would agree go to the wall and lose it, admittedly this may be my fault I hid my disability from everyone way into my adult life. I was so good at it that when I started telling people I have dyslexia no one believed me. Hell I graduated High school ,passed college entrance exams, and attended until it all became too much, it was a fight every assignment, every test was the fight of my life. And I am so proud of myself for making it, but I did it to fit in, I did it because I was too proud to ask for help, I just wanted to be normal. What scares me now is, it all really counts no more parents house, and high school now is when I have responsibilities and I am supposed to use those things I crammed, was taught, and took in to live my life. Problem is I forget easily, I can be confused easily, and honestly can’t do this on my own (wonder how I do every day) then add to this weight all of the people who count on me as the voice of reason, in any way possible I take care of everyone I can when they need me but can never really put into words what’s going on with me, likely because I forget the words when I need them or just don’t know them.

That song I lost the words to, beats in my head daily, some days are better than others but truth is I will never get all the words and it is so frustrating but it’s my life, and I’m scared because you can’t fix this I only want you to understand it. -Vonte

I Have to Partly Apologize To Raven


You know what? I really need to retract some of the anger I had about what Raven Symone said, she is part right and I say this because we are In an age where our babies have had babies the names are out of control. Lets not forget social media all that is important now are likes or hits for popularity or profit, you first have to realize not all you see or hear is real. I do feel Watermelondrea if real is terrible as a name, honestly I am hoping its made up for attention. I will admit I was more concerned that it came from Raven’s mouth then what she really meant. Your first name is Raven if it wasn’t for Cosby show she would be in the same boat with Watermelondrea. This isn’t the first time she has opened her mouth and stupid came out so I jumped on her.

I jumped on her because she was the last person that should speak on anything ghetto a child actor who never had to struggle I still feel she needs to sit her ass down. Yet I agree unless by some reason she was thrown in front of me like a starving artist does his demo, and impressed me, I wouldn’t hire a Watermelondrea. Real name or not she’s not stuck with that name none of us are, as an adult she has the right to change it and im not saying she should be a Keisha or Tammy but there is just some stuff people shouldn’t hold on to and if you don’t realize Watermelondrea is a bad name, your small thinking is part of the problem. We all need to grow up not everything is excusable. -Vonte

Listen.. There Is A Method to My Thinking

raven

(before we start please excuse what grammatical errors I may have missed I suffer from dyslexia)

I’m going to talk about a couple of things here, just pay attention. I voted for Clinton, I voted for Obama and to be honest it wasn’t cause they were Democrats or in the one case, sure as hell wasn’t cause he is black, there were other black candidates that didn’t make it as far would have never had my vote. Ben Carson is black and he is a freaking idiot, if I took anything from government (in high school) it is that the president you elect doesn’t control the free world he like the pope for Catholics, is just the respected representative with the power of veto, a sitting president can at best serve only two terms, eight years max, congress can serve until they scandal, retire, or die, no law gets passed by one single entity in government… so yes while our vote doesn’t count why I voted anyway for those two over (lets say now from the far right) because they were less crazy. George W Bush declared a win to a war we hadn’t yet won in a place we shouldn’t have been. Believe it or not, W. could have changed my whole view of him that first week after 9-11-01 all that stupid good ol’ boys Texas shit, I would have had his back if that week he said lets Fuck them up wherever they are right now. But he waited and no one said anything otherwise, nothing against his decision. America looked weak that week North Korea and the Soviet Union laughed at us (cause you do remember they hate us? Oh but Snowden is a fucking hero? Shake my head, screw you directors of his story and anybody that believes Snowden was given asylum without being a trader to the US) Donald Trump believes Mexicans are rapist and murderers, that he can build a wall and the stop this nations life long immigration issue with one wall (where is his wife from?). I only wonder if he can tell the difference between a Cuban, Dominican, or Puerto Rican just to name a few, better yet I wonder how many others that believe what he does can. And I only bring that up because if you are Latino/Latina and you support Donald Trumps’ views what’s stopping them from denying your family? Ben Carson, Trump, and far to many of those on all sides who live sheltered, privileged, lives believe guns don’t kill people, that people do. Yet it is so convenient that you are normal (if white, until you commit mass murder then all of a sudden a background check missed your mental issues I whole heartedly do not understand how people don’t see this shit) I posted on this previously so I will not preach let me leave you with this you don’t need automatic rifles to protect yourself and no freaking way teachers and whomever else Ben and Donald think should carry guns to stop people commit crime should be able to do so, humans are flawed and I hate to say this need laws and need police, not gun totting idiots. I don’t even feel these people are mental not all of them, that’s their plea for sympathy after the fact or what their lawyers and the NRA want you to believe. I see people with weapons who are bored, who want to use their weapons for real shit. that’s the problems with guns some people get bored just looking at them.

I don’t know about you but, me and every single person I know is out of the tax bracket that fuels the thinking of the majority of those in power. They rule by the NRA, the drug companies, oil, and whatever else they have billions invested in. So when I vote and as much as I complain I don’t hate republicans or you people that blame Obama for what little that side of Fox News media can tell you to hate him for, I vote for forward thinkers and I am only disappointed that much like reality shows and wrestling, people just believe everything they see, nobody asks questions anymore. To close this topic George W. Bush was the least qualified and most ridiculous choice for an office that represents a nation so far (since I was old enough to vote) “fool me twice won’t fool me again” let a beauty pageant contestant have said that dumb shit we would never let it go, and again he publicly admitted a win to a war we are still fighting. Vote with your heart when your heart is in the phase that helps you care about others even if those other are just your school mates or co-workers. We live in reality the politicians we vote for don’t really want to pay the taxes we so undoubtedly have no choice not to pay for working people it’s pay or serve time for the wealthy its pay or lobby a vote in your favor better yet use off shore banks

Lastly. So Raven Symone opened her dumb ass M/F mouth again. She and Stacy Dash can take a long walk off a short cliff into a volcano. You two talentless self hating hacks. Raven says she would not hire people with ghetto names but is named after a damn bird and rocks a pink mohawk, sit your privileged ass down because if it wasn’t for your parents selling your young soul you wouldn’t be anything and Stacy your biggest movie is tantamount to who you are.. Clueless. Mediatakeout.com is reporting that Raven was let go for her comments and if you believe that bullshit then your part of the problem too, that shit is great publicity for the show, besides committing a heinous crime there is no bad publicity the dumber she is the more popular the show, look at Love and Hip Hop (anything) or Housewives of (whatever) or the Kardashians… Wait you already do don’t you? Those shows are 80% script. -Vonte

We Need to talk, Let’s  Start With The 2nd Amendment 

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(before we start please excuse what grammatical errors I may have missed I suffer from dyslexia)

Powder, lead shot, Ram rod in that order was how you loaded ammunition into you pistol or rifle back when the you were given the right bear arms. Nobody wants to take away your damn guns we are only asking what the Fcuk you need with assault rifles? You can’t hunt with them, dare you do that they will treat like they treat Walter Palmer, better yet Michael Vick, there is no sport in that. Protecting yourself and your home should and will always be a right so purchase your handguns or shotguns should you choose, just don’t tell me this law applies to assault rifles the mobile equivalent of a gatling gun for the 18 century can you imagine if every man had a gatling gun in 1789? The murder of Lincoln alone would have been a theatre massacre.

On with the ridiculous-ness. Who interprets these rules/laws? KIM Davis a Christian couldn’t wait to hit mass media and say she spoke with Pope Francis the living breathing symbol of the Catholic church and he told her to keep on fighting, this news broke a full day after he had left the United States, she made it out to be a one to one meeting, personal and I was instantly sick to my stomach for the first time that historic week. Angry again at society, religion, and humanity. “It could not be” I said to myself as I watched media repeat the story multiple times on multiple stations just her side. Later we find out she lied (this faithful Christian woman) the meeting wasn’t one to one,  was not personal, she was one of several dozens and not even one of the two whom the pope expected to see, also there wasn’t much of a conversation I’m not even sure they have established whether Pope Francis knew who she was. But she wanted you to believe she had someone blessing someone who mattered. (as politicians don’t matter) We have taken these delineations too far, how we each separately interpret these rules, when it really shouldn’t be that complicated. If you feel your job goes against your religious beliefs than quit. Who has a standoff with their employer for personal reasons and gets support? that is nothing but your opinion vs your duty. I was baptized Catholic as a child, I’m from the northeast and the further south and west christianity scares me (this mind you is all only my opinion) christians can like the confederate symbol from a lost war, used at times for hate and segregation, they more frequently tote guns and commit mass shootings, (by the way you lost) the flag dies when you lose we don’t call the Soviet Union the USSR let it go. Catholics have child sex scandals in the church and a history of really strict rules were supposed to follow.  I say this to say, I choose my own path and I choose humanity first. I am dyslexic the bible in any religion is too long and print too small for me to read not to mention I would forget what I read a few minutes before, be lost in a paragraph that would run off into a separate sentence and need google just to translate the terminology. Funny thing is the way each sect reads these books differently I am mot sure I’m the only one.

These two topics  come from someone’s adaptation that where just meant as rules to live by, not to follow to the “T” according to whom you follow or choose to believe in. WE DONT WANT YOUR GUNS WE JUST DONT WANT PEOPLE WALKING AROUND WITH GATLING GUNS AND WHO DECIDES THESE PEOPLE ARE UNSTABLE ALL OF A SUDDEN? Leave the Church out of your ability to break the laws, and if you ask me Kim Davis is mentally ill. -Vonte

I Will Never Forget

Though it took a tragedy I will never forget for one day we were all americans brothers and sisters. People stopped complaining about what made us different and prayed for those they did not know. For one day I thought this will bring us all together this will end the lies and bring understanding bring change. As I see the skyline of my birthplace and monument across the highway from where I was headed that morning I think about that day often. The tragedy that gave our nation humanity… for a day. -Vonte (posted to FB)

Do Me A Favor..

  
(before we start please excuse what grammatical errors I may have missed I suffer from dyslexia)
Don’t give that glory to God. I will apologize because I am far from the most religious person out there, and that is a conversation for those I know whom choose to speak about religion. But do not do that lets not fight over religion. Say you don’t because you don’t want to but do not make or break laws for your beliefs, that is not how this country was taken/born. Those that came here initially we are taught came here for religious freedoms. We are or were taught that church and state are seprate things. I interpret relgion as a baseline for morals rules to live by not to govern.

What the hell is happening to this country? I can very easily name a group that wars for religion. In  America alone how many different sides to that fight are there? And im talking denominations of the same base belief before you consider totally seprate religions? If nothing else out there religion is an easy segregator, how ironic when belief in a higher being is all about inner peace. So please people I beg you don’t push that on me, please stand up and say “I Will not because I don’t want to”.  And by the way Kim Davis how does your god feel about divorce?  God doesn’t want that glory wait, whoms god are we speaking to? -Vonte.